Five Loaves and Two Fish

Mark 6 : 30 - 44

This is a common passage even for Sunday schools, and we are thankful that this is a story that has been planted in us since childhood. But the more we grow, the more we should grow in our understanding of these stories. In the previous pericope, we can see that Herod was holding a feast. Here we read that Jesus was also holding a feast, but one of a completely different nature to that of Herod’s. We can see that Herod was inviting highly important guests from within his inner circles. With these feasts he also showcases his prestiges his wealth and his greatness. But we see that that wasn’t Jesus’ motivation. Herod hosts his feast for many people but he does so to glorify himself. We see in the story of Jesus feeding the five thousand that those present were not just from within His inner circle, but that everyone was able to come to Him. Within our lives we should also reflect that although it is natural for some people to be closer to us than others, it isn’t a reason for us to become exclusive. And more so, for us to form cliques of people whom we deem of value or who understand us. This behaviour is more akin to Herod than Jesus.

I believe one of the beauties of Christianity is that it stands in opposition to exclusivism and elitism. Exclusivism and elitism take many different forms. Some people like to hang around those in the same social standings as them, others choose to be around those who are of at least equal education. When I minister outside of Indonesia, it is often not as easy to reach out to those who are non-Indonesian. Naturally, it is more comfortable for Indonesians to be around Indonesians. We pray that our church becomes more international not so that we look better from the outside but because Mathew 28 teaches us to do so. Once again, if we fail to be inclusive to those who are not from our country of origin or who share a cultural background, we are more like Herod than we are like Jesus.

I believe you have all heard some commentaries on the passage of Jesus feeding the five thousand. Because it is a feast/banquet, it is also often compared to the last supper; perhaps most of all from the perspective of the gospel of John. This is also the only miracle recorded in all four gospels – a fact that further delineates how important a miracle this is. Looking at this passage right from the very beginning from verse 30, it is written that the apostles were returning to Jesus with reports of their works. Maybe they were thinking that they had fulfilled their duties and responsibilities. Even Jesus was instructing them to go to a place of solitude to rest for a while. I do not know, brothers and sisters, what it is you would imagine when someone invites you to go somewhere and rest after having finished your work. As for Indonesians, I think we know that we particularly enjoy sharing a meal. However, in this passage the terminology that was used was that they went away to a “desolate place”. When Jesus goes by Himself He does not go to find a Michelin star restaurant. Rather, He finds a place to pray. So this “desolate place” is Jesus’ rest. And His rest is solitude together with the Father. Let us reflect on this within our own lives. Maybe our immediate reaction is to be incredulous that after having just finished our ministry we are expected to have devotion and to pray again. Our view on this matter is often dualistic. It is not that we are forbidden to enjoy a meal after our ministry that is not the point. But sometimes after our ministry we feel exhausted or that we have been wrung dry. After which we expect God to understand that we require “me-time”. But here we see that Jesus’ rest is solitude together with the Father and that He invites His disciples to do the same. This means that His ministry is not something that leaves Him feeling exhausted or utterly spent. Jesus’ ministry is something that is overflowing; not something that can be wrung dry like a damp cloth that eventually reaches its physical limit. The ministry that drains us is not proper ministry at all. If as a result of our ministry we feel spiritually burnt out, then there is something that requires correction within our lives. For example, some people take up the ministry of being an administrator within the church, and require long periods of pause between each ministry. Jesus Himself only wanted to rest for one night, but some people step back from church ministry for years before coming back. Is that not way too long? That sort of illustration portrays church ministry as something torturous. Some of us serve maybe once in our church ministry and decide that we have had enough and do not want to do it anymore.

Brothers and sisters we see here that the disciples are invited by Jesus to rest. But we see that the crowds were so excited that they followed Jesus on foot and even got there before Him. Truthfully I struggle to imagine this, how fast they have to run in order to get there before Him. For those travelling by foot to arrive before those travelling by boat is incredible. Intuitively it would seem obvious that the means of travel over water would be significantly faster than to travel by foot over the land. But all this is only speculation, the point is that the crowds were still very eager to meet Jesus. It is interesting that they went by foot and arrived sooner than Jesus and His disciples did.

When Jesus saw the great crowd, it is written that He “had compassion on them”. Here we can observe this great overflowing ministry of Jesus’ that upon having seen the great crowd, was overcome with compassion. Maybe you can imagine the expression of the disciples in this context being similar to ours thinking: “this again? I’ve just finished a 3 hour counseling session and they still have questions to ask. They must think the world revolves around them or something.” Is this sort of a response not to be expected? It is not that they are lazy. They have just ministered but the crowd continues to demand more. But brothers and sisters you see here that Jesus had compassion on them like there was no limit to the love He held for them. Maybe one could say “Well of course He has no limit; He is God and I am not.” But do not forget that Jesus was also fully man. So perhaps we can learn something from Him here as a human being.

There is an excerpt from the biblical commentary that spotlights this exact point which reads: “Come away by yourselves.” Come where? Come away with Jesus. I will quote the commentary on this: “The life of the disciple is not only mission for Jesus, but also mission with Jesus.” Simple, is it not? This is the secret to ministry. Not mission only for God but also mission with God. Many work only for God and as a result become spiritually burnt out. Mission for God is not wrong, of course. It is for God after all, not for myself, not for my family, but for God. How can it be wrong? Read within that context it is correct. Not for myself but for Jesus. However, simply put, if we minister only for God but not with God, we will very easily find ourselves spiritually burnt out. We will feel drained, and on top of that we will be invited to give offerings, again and again and again. Eventually we will start to feel paranoid, and even view that invitation to offer with skepticism. But if we mission with God then that is a different story. And this holds true for many aspects not only for church ministry. For our responsibilities to our family, which can also be extremely exhausting like having to discipline your kid, or doing your chores. Eventually we will also start to complain. Sometimes you feel like you’re doing everything for the family and have no time for yourself. We start appearing disheveled and feel like you bend over backwards just for the family. This is what it is to work for, but not with. And especially not with Jesus. This is what Jesus meant when He said in the gospel of John: “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.” But many people are ignorant of the difference in the usage of the preposition “with” or “in”. They are only aware of “for”, which is why their ministry often feels burdensome. I believe that it is also through the perspective of this principle that Jesus asks His disciples “what do you own?”

If you compare Jesus’ expectations and what is in the minds of the disciples, first and foremost what was said by them in this passage: “This is a desolate place, and the hour is now late. Send them away to go into the surrounding countryside and villages and buy themselves something to eat.” This is a very rational approach to the situation. But Jesus replies: “You give them something to eat.” And it is interesting from the perspective of the disciples who at this point are maybe somewhat peeved but do not want to appear impolite, reply, “Shall we go and buy two hundred denarii worth of bread and give it to them to eat?” Insinuating that if they were not to buy it themselves, then they were the ones who had to buy it for them. And that for a crowd that large it would cost them two hundred denarii; and that too only if they had enough money for that. From here we can read again the motif of ‘for them’ and ‘for Jesus’, or ‘with Jesus’. If it is for them then they have no strength left. They have been ministering for a long time up to that point. Their ministry prior had also been for them. But if they want us to continue then we will have to pay 200 denarii for them. But Jesus invites them to minister with Him. With Jesus.

It is interesting that Jesus replies to them, “You give them something to eat.” What does it mean to feed within the context of this story? Why did Jesus have to tell them, “You give them something to eat”? Maybe if we were the ones to have given that instruction it would have meant that we have had enough and would like to rest. Maybe it’s an abuse of authority. But this is a sinful perspective. When Jesus says “You give them something to eat”, He knows that the one who will feed the crowd is Him. But Jesus is inviting His disciples to feed them with Him – which is why He says “You give them something to eat.”

This is something that is very touching for us to ponder upon. The one who is feeding them is Jesus, but in a way it can be acknowledged that the one doing it is yourself and I. Isn’t that touching? What exactly is our role in this? The one who is making everything happen from start to end is God after all. But we are given a part, for which we are praised, we are given happiness, and rewarded; all of which undeserved because strictly speaking everything from start to end was done by God. This is the beauty of Christianity. Not for us to be spiritually burnt out; it is so far from that narrative.

Jesus from here continues by asking them: “How many loaves do you have? Go and see.” An excerpt from a biblical commentary asserts that Jesus focuses on what is available to them. But the disciples focus on what is lacking to them, what they do not have. Here we can see the contrast in perspectives. The disciples focus on the insufficiency of what they have and what they still need to remedy the situation (like the 200 denarii). This is a totally different view of life too. There are people who always focus on what they lack, and what they do not have. They are not grateful in their lives. But there are those who can be grateful and content in what they have before them. There is a song that teaches us to count our blessings. Our blessings do not change. They are what they are. But we are the ones who have to count them. Oftentimes life is not about our condition but rather our perspective on it. Our worldviews, and our view on life.

Once again, the disciples were focused on what they didn’t have, but Jesus was focused on what they had before them. We know that if Jesus wanted to feed the five thousand without the disciples He could. He could turn even stone into bread. It is simple for Him. Or even Creatio ex Nihilo. He already has a track record that proves He can. But what is incredible and astonishing is His question of “How many loaves do you have?” God does not require our offering. But He wants to involve us so that we can be a part of His joy. That is what He wants to share with us.

Brothers and sisters do not mistake our offering as an act of compassion towards God. And furthermore that God owes us for it and so on and so forth. God only wants us to be a part of His joy. What kind of joy? The joy of being a blessing to one another. The Bible says that to give is more joyful than to receive. I believe we have contemplated this. How is it that to give is more joyful than to receive? It is, afterall, joyful for us to receive. But the Bible says that to give is more joyful than to receive. Once again, why? Even though to receive is already joyful. Because when we give, we are drawn into the position of God. Because God is He who gives. God gives, and so when someone gives they are joyful because they can understand God. This is a knowing and understanding of God that is not by way of theory. But to resemble, and to emulate God. There is nothing more joyful than to be aligned with God and to be like Him. There is no higher joy or happiness than that.

Of course, in our spiritual journey we will grow from adolescence into maturity. But we have to be wary of stagnating in our growth. If we do not grow, we will continue to be happy with being served, with receiving, with being taken care of. Do not be easily content with that joy. God is so ambitious, that He wants to give us a greater kind of joy. To allow us to grow in His image, through the joy of giving. It is a shame that in health and wealth prosperity gospel it teaches a warped theology that when we give it will be given back in abundance. They bolster their theology using verses from the Bible, but we should be wary of why this theology is false. Because at the end of the day the good news is about receiving. Receiving again and again, revolving only around that. All that is is a sign of stagnant spiritual growth. If you give, you shall receive in abundance. How joyous! To receive more than what you gave. The good news is only about what you can receive. It is a pity that these people are being held back in their spiritual growth. If they were to always remain spiritually childish, there is a danger of them having never known God. God wants us to grow and to mature.

There is no record, be it in the gospel of Mark or in the other gospels, of the struggles of giving up the bread and the fish. But I believe it is safe enough for us to interpret that when giving up the bread and the fish, it was not done without struggle or consideration. Though it was not recorded in the Bible, I believe that this interpretation is pretty lawful. Especially because in the other gospels it was recorded that the one giving up the bread and the fish was a child. The child might have wondered what the bread and fish was being given up for. If it had been for Jesus to eat, then maybe it would still have made some semblance of sense. But if it was to feed five thousand people… what is the point? Five loaves for five thousand. Not including the women and children. Even if we assume only the men were eating, how do you divide one loaf of bread between a thousand people? How would it work with that many people, and what if they were to break out fighting over the bread? Being divided that many times, no one would be sated anyways. It would be just as well for the child to eat the bread and fish themselves so at least one person would be full. Thoughts like these are probably rather ridiculous and meaningless. But if we were to be honest, are thoughts like these not ones that present themselves from time to time in our minds? When we are to give offerings in church, and wonder if it wouldn’t be better for us to spend the money on ourselves or our family instead. Following Christ, we ought to stop with natural calculations such as these.

Someone interpreted this story summarising it with: “the moral of the story…” the “moral” of the story – the terminology alone already reduces this passage into a moralistic story, to be about “giving up what we have.” To not be selfish. In life we must share, we must be generous. It is, of course, more beautiful than to be selfish and stingy. But of course, the problem with this interpretation is that with two fish and five loaves who can sate the hunger of five thousand people? Your and my generosity alone would not help in this situation. This passage is not about your and my generosity, it is about Jesus’ ability to multiply the two fish and five loaves into much much more. Without Jesus’ power, your and my generosity alone would not have amounted to anything. Therefore do not be prideful when you are used by God. Because it is not about your and my sacrifice, it is not about your and my dedication. It is about how Jesus multiplied the fish and loaves into so much more. Jesus, who provides us with the opportunity to be a part of His joy.

Maybe one or two more points while I recall that I mentioned at the start that this story is one that we might be familiar with from Sunday school. Usually with visual aids. These pictures however tend to be rather misleading, portraying the scene as sentimental with everyone seated nicely and split up into groups. Within a picturesque setting of lush green hills. A picture for kids, afterall. But if we read the context of this story it takes place within rural Galilee. This is the seat of the zealot movement. The zealot movement believes in the coming of the kingdom of God through revolution resulting in the toppling of imperialist rulers. Therefore, these five thousand not including women and children were probably armed. They likely viewed Jesus as the political Messiah that they were waiting for. They might have expected that afterwards, they would have set off together to begin the revolution. This image might not be too obvious here, but it is clearer in the account of the gospel of John. Because they forced Jesus to become king right then and there. So when these thousands of people followed Jesus, they were already doing so with a motive in mind. They had expected that that was the moment for their uprising. This also explains why many of them were disappointed, in the account of the gospel of John, when Jesus invited them to acknowledge themselves as the bread of life. To which they began one by one to leave Jesus, because that was not the political Messiah that they had thought He was. Jesus had actually given to them more than they had imagined. His own self. But they were only content with the hope of a political victory.

This is also often the image of you and I. When we come before God, we already have an image of what we hope to get, and what we expect of God. But what truly is the greatest gift that God can give to us? Actually the question shouldn’t be what, but rather who. Because the answer is God Himself. Can we be content with receiving Jesus? Like the song goes, “If you get the Lord Jesus, you get it all.” Or is your health more important? Or are the accomplishments of your children more important? Or is your wealth more important? I do not know what it is that you struggle with in your lives. But Jesus knows that what yourself and I need is Jesus Himself. Not the political guerilla Messiah that is projected from down up. That is why it is very fitting to compare this with the Lord’s supper. Because Jesus here took “the five loaves and the two fish, He looked up to heaven and said a blessing and broke the loaves and gave them to the disciples to set before the people.” This gesture is the gesture of the holy communion, done in anticipation of the holy communion.

Just now we talked about how Jesus invited His disciples to minister with Him. But if you read this simple passage, “He looked up to heaven and said a blessing and broke the loaves and gave them to the disciples to set before the people.” Meaning that they themselves were also sated. When you and I are invited to dedicate ourselves, it is not that we are not also being served by God. Those who distribute the bread and wine for the holy communion, do so for the whole congregation, but they themselves are also served. Occasionally, I feel the urge to smack their hands but it is the holy communion and so I cannot behave in that manner. Because those who serve by giving out the bread and wine for the holy communion after they have served everyone take the bread and wine for themselves as if they are worried that they do not get a share. I am the one who is supposed to serve you. Those who serve should also be served; even the pastor is served by God, because the real host is Christ and not the pastor.

Brothers and sisters, if we reflect on this once again we realise that there is no place for spiritual burn out. Where is the possibility for spiritual burn out? What reason could there be? But then why do people still have spiritual burn out? Maybe because they do not allow themselves to be served during ministry. They do not allow themselves to be served by God. But in this passage we read that even the disciples received the bread. That means they also were sated by God. Let us then, brothers and sisters, live out the kind of Christianity that is taught us here. (A.H.)